


Weakness

by orphan_account



Series: What's Become of Us [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Conflicted Kylo Ren, M/M, Mind Rape, Mind Reading, Past Relationship(s), TFA torture scene, Torture, referenced Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:05:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6569185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren had always viewed Ben Solo as weak. Perhaps he was wrong, perhaps it was Ben that had always been the strong one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weakness

Ben was weak. He’d let people use him, take advantage of him. He’d given his heart to anyone in exchange for a kind smile, like a starving man presented with a single apple.

It turns out Ren was weak too. He couldn’t even take his mask off. Couldn’t face the man he hadn’t seen in years. Not now, not with what he was going to do to him.

Memories surged to the front of his mind, making him see the man in front of him when they were younger. Stolen kisses behind X-wings. Holding hands under tables during meals. Bright smiles and kind eyes. Broad, rough hands playing with his messy too-long hair.

No, that wasn’t him. That was Ben Solo. Ben was weak. This man before him had made Ben weak.

The rage that Ren so often relied on surged, and he held out his hand, painfully digging into Poe’s mind. He tried to cause the most pain he could. He wanted to make him hurt, wanted to make him _scream_ in agony, to beg for forgiveness.

Then he caught a memory, an image flashing by. He grabbed onto it and pulled, dragging it out of the recesses of Poe’s mind.

It was him-Ben, it was Ben, not him. He-Ben- was with Poe. It was a simple memory of an ordinary day. They were sitting together in the grass, Ben’s head in Poe’s lap as the boy played with Ben’s hair, fanning it out around him. Poe was looking up at the sky-he was always living with his head in the sky, imagining, waiting, for the days he would be among the stars-while Ben looked up at him.

Poe was such an easy person to love. He smiled with abandoned, expecting nothing in return. He gave, and gave, and gave, and never once took. He let Ben cry on his shoulder and tell him of his insecurities. He never once made Ben feel unwelcome.

Ren hated him for it. He’d made Ben weak, _encouraged_ his weakness. He did _nothing_ to help Ben be strong.

 _You know that’s not true_ , his mind whispered, making his features contort as a new wave of rage washed over him. He dug further into Poe’s mind, tearing agonized screams from him.

Tears streamed down his own cheeks as he saw how fondly Poe remembered him. Remembered _Ben._ The awkward, gangly teenager he’d befriended. The sweet boy who was almost a brother to him growing up, until they became something more. Even when Ben had gone to train, and Poe had gone to flight school.

He tore Poe’s mind apart, tearing it to shreds and taking a sick pleasure in the way it hurt Poe. In the way Poe’s screams pierced his ears until it felt as if they were bleeding.

What would Poe think of Ren now? Knowing that it was Ren-Ben-taking him apart. Like Ben used to do with droids. Dismantling them until he could see everything inside them, finding out how they worked.

He stripped Poe’s mind bare until there was nothing left. Nothing but a trembling body covered in sweat mixing with blood. He couldn’t scream anymore, his throat raw and bleeding from the hours that he’d been carelessly taken apart. Had they really been there for hours?

Now that he was completely laid bare, Ren carded tendrils of the Force through Poe’s mind, like when he used to card his fingers through Ben’s hair. Poe just panted, no longer having the energy to even cringe, to even glare, as he looked at Ren, blood dripping from his nose and down his lip, panting him with a single stripe like the makeup Padme wore in one of her portraits.

Ren used his thumb to wipe away the blood, the first time he’s touched Poe in over a decade-had it really been that long?

Now that he’s touched Poe, he couldn’t pull his hand back. He brushed his fingertips over Poe’s cheek-a cheek he’d once placed many kisses-smearing blood over his tanned skin. He lifted his hand farther to brush through sweat-dampened hair. He couldn’t feel it against his fingers, and perhaps that was a good thing. He didn’t want to be weak for this man again, and touching him so intimately may make him just as weak as Ben was.

Poe didn’t speak, didn’t breathe, just closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. But not before Ren saw the tears gathering in those expressive eyes. Eyes that had once shown fondness and warmth when he looked at Ren. Eyes that were just as expressive as they showed contempt and hate for Ren.

Ren ached to release Poe. To gather him up in his arms and take him to Naboo, like that time they stole the Millennium Falcon and went there for a sort of welcome home gift. The first time Ben had been back to see his parents-to see Poe, really- since starting his Jedi training. They had gotten in trouble, Ben being 15 and Poe 17 at the time, so their parents had been worried sick, but it had been more than worth it.

For a few hours, it had been just him and Poe. Under the clouds as they ran through vast plains and swam through warm lakes, laughing and smiling with carefree abandon. Under the stars as they held each other, Poe’s arms wrapped around Ben, Ben’s head resting on Poe’s chest, listening to his steady, strong heart. Neither speaking; there was nothing to be said. Poe’s hand gently stroked Ben’s hair, smiling as he kissed the top of his head. Ben repeating the action, placing a kiss on Poe’s sternum.

Ren pulled his hand out of Poe’s hair, clenching it into a fist. He had what he needed; he had no reason to stay. So he turned to leave, boots falling heavily as the door opened.

“Ben,” he croaked, opening his eyes as lifting his head just enough to see Ren’s retreating form.

Yes, as it turns out, Ren was weak, too.

Or maybe it was Ben that had always been the strong one. Ben would have run to Poe and torn off the restraints with his bare hands if he needed to. Then again, Ben wouldn’t have harmed Poe. He would have sooner driven his lightsaber through his own chest than do what Ren had done to him.

“Ben,” he said again, gravelly voice stronger this time.

Ren didn’t turn. Didn’t stop. Didn’t run to Poe and throw himself at his feet, begging for forgiveness.

He Left calmly, even though a storm was going on inside him, Poe at the center of it.

He didn’t scream. He didn’t draw his saber to destroy something. He didn’t take his anger out on some poor stormtrooper.

He walked calmly to his quarters, ignoring the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

He made sure the guards didn’t question it when a Stormtrooper came for Poe.


End file.
